


A Menagerie of Errors

by foursouls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidents, Animagus, Animal Puns, F/M, Fluff, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Potions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:09:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22594576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foursouls/pseuds/foursouls
Summary: Trifling with Weasley products is never a good idea, so when Hermione finds that she is suddenly changing into a bunch of different Animagus she knows just who to blame. And, begrudgingly, she knows just the Slytherin that can get her out of this mess.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 102





	A Menagerie of Errors

“And a French onion soup please”

Hermione cradled the phone in her shoulder as she absently went through some paperwork on her desk. She ordered supper at work much too frequently to suggest a balanced lifestyle, but today was a special occasion. After studying for 3 months she was finally ready for the first step in becoming an animagus. _Really_ she thought, _I deserve a good meal_ , _and soup has always seemed to calm my nerves._

Just as she was confirming her order Draco Malfoy stepped into her office. Though 17 year old Hermione would probably be panicking in search of her wand, her 26 year old self inwardly rolled her eyes at this all too often occurrence. She mouthed the words “Staying late?” and after a nod from Draco she quickly added, “Oh and a lemongrass chicken Vietnamese sub, ok great thanks”.

“So, what can I do for you Malfoy?” Draco wasn’t sure if he should feel panicked or flattered that Granger knew his favourite after work order. But really, they saw way too much of each other these days so it shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise. He even started leaving all of his work that involved her to the end of the day since she was his only associate that seemed to work just as late as himself. Plus there was a small part of himself that admitted that she made the overtime bearable. When his best friend Blaise started to connect the dots with his good moods and seeing her, he would say he just loved teasing her and watching her get worked up, it’s the same thing he kept trying to convince himself of.

“There was another incident of a potion being fed to muggles. This time I actually think it was an accident, a witch, who I am sure has more than a few marbles loose, left an orange infused with Alihotsy in a muggle restaurant. They ended up juicing it into a couple different drinks” Draco answered in a tone that conveyed a lack of respect for everyone involved that only a Malfoy could pull off.

Hermione opened her mouth but was cut off before she had a chance to speak “Don’t even try asking why there was Alihotsy in the orange in the first place, we’re still unsure but we have about 5 hysterical muggles that we are currently brewing the antidote for.”

“Ok, I will get to the paperwork right away.”

Draco smirked and said, “You know, only THE Hermione Granger would become head of two departments just because she liked paperwork so much.” 

Hermione glared at him and frowned. How did he always seem to have the perfect comment that would both compliment and insult her? “Only THE Draco Malfoy would snivel his way into the one position of his department that would fool the world into thinking he was a reformed angel.” She smirked back at him but wondered if she had crossed the line. She often speculated as to why Malfoy asked to be in charge of all cases within the Ministry of Master Brewing that involved muggles. Was it just to help his image? Did he believe it was atonement for his previous indiscretions? Or did he actually do it as a changed man out of the goodness of his own heart? Likely it was a mixture of all three, people were rarely so simple, but only time would tell which reason was in the lead.

Instead of bubbling with fury she saw his grey eyes dance with amusement, “Oh you know I didn’t snivel into anything, I could sell dung to a dragon trainer if I put my mind to it. Why are you ordering from Merlin’s anyway? I thought you vowed to stop after calling their delivery system a complete violation of house elves’ rights?”

Hermione cringed at that knowing he would call her out on it “Well, we have been making some head way with the owners and the treatment has greatly improved, but you know as well as I do that they are the only ones who can deliver within the ministry.” Just as she finished saying this they heard a pop and a house elf appeared at the office door.

“Delivery for the missus” before either had a chance to give thanks the elf was gone with another pop.

Draco walked up towards the door and picked up the package. He saw Granger’s secretary, Ralph sitting outside with a bored expression on his face. “So now you’re subjecting your subordinates to stay with you until all hours of the evening as well?”

Hermione tried to put on her best apathetic expression and said “No, there was just some extra work to be done, he is the secretary to the very important head of both the Magical Creatures and Muggle department you know.”

“You know as adorable as it is when you try to lie, I’m not buying that for a second.”

Hermione cursed the blush that threatened her cheeks. She had it worse than Ron! It was absolutely humiliating. She decided that no reply might be better and so she looked down towards her papers with a frown.

“Really? The silent treatment Granger? What are we 12? Why would you need someone else here at night, and why would you need to lie about...” Suddenly a realization hit Draco and he felt a little stupid that he didn’t realize it before “You are taking the Animagus Revealo potion today aren’t you? Why didn’t you get that lackluster loverboy of yours to look after you?”

Hermione frowned at his preferred nickname for her ex and clarified, “Eddie and I broke up 2 months ago actually…” She had wondered every day since if it had been the right decision. She had been following her heart when she ended things with him but as usual her rational thinking was in conflict with this and she was still unsure.

Draco had lifted his head at the answer, a smirk threatening to break out onto his face and looked straight into her chocolate eyes, “Really now?” She shifted uncomfortably under the strength of the gaze so he continued, “Why didn’t you do it at home and just ask Scar Head or the Weasel to watch you?”

She just looked up at him, snatched the sack from his hand and started to give a ridiculous amount of attention to opening a paper bag.

“WAIT, is the Gryffindor princess afraid she will fail? Let me guess, you figured that tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum would never let you forget it if you did?”

Hermione gave her soup a death glare that could have set it boiling. She loved Harry and Ron, really she did, but sometimes they took her failures a little too well, I guess that’s what years of getting Os in school gets you.

Draco saw her glare and realized that his comment had hit the mark too hard. He felt guilty and cursed his conscious that only seemed to appear when he was around her. In a softer tone he tried to placate the situation, “I’m sure it will all go fine, and if it doesn’t my money’s on a problem with the potion, not you.”

Hermione inwardly smiled. She knew this was a rare Malfoy moment and really this would equate to other people trying to cheer her up by gifting her a parliament of messenger owls. With a slight grin she said, “Ok ferret, enough of the gushy heart to heart, get out of here and let me work in peace.”

Malfoy smirked and turned to leave, “Ok but let me know if you find out your animagus is an actual bookworm because if so Potter owes me 5 galleons.”

She threw the lid of her soup at him and as it fell lamely to the floor as ]he laughed all the way out of her office.

_____________________________________________________

Hermione had finished her supper and was rereading the instructions on the potion.

To use Animagus Revealo one MUST have done trainings 1-5 in the ministry provided How to Become an Animagus by Tether Velbraith Ed. 16. If these preparations are not done this potion will not work and may have unwanted side effects including but not limited to: flaming hiccouphs, dragonpox and coma. Mix entire contents of bottle with hot water (may be mixed with decaffeinated tea) and drink. Potion should work in 5-10 minutes. REQUIRES supervision. Please contact local healers if untoward effects occur.

This potion was supposed to tell her which animal she was most suited to be as an animagus. If all went well Ralph would come in and see some sort of animal sitting at her desk instead of Hermione. She knew she was prepared for this but she was always one to have nerves. All of her teas in her office had caffeine but by sheer luck Ron had given her a box of herbal tea just this morning stating he had recently come into too much tea. Why he was being bestowed so much tea was curious, but really it was Ron, and strange was par for the course. As terrible as he had been as a boyfriend, he was actually a very thoughtful friend. It was a relief for everyone involved when they realized after 6 months of fighting concealed as dating that friendship suited them best.

She mixed the potion and the tea, and with a here goes nothing look to the sky, drank the concoction. She poked her head out of the office and told Ralph that she had taken the potion and he should check on her in 15 minutes. He gave her an enthusiastic grin and two thumbs up as she closed the door. Her secretary always seemed like he had drank one too many cups of coffee, but he was incredibly efficient, and if Hermione Granger liked one thing it was thorough speed, so it was easy to overlook his hyper behaviour.

With a sigh she took a seat on her desk, started the meditation exercises she was instructed to do and closed her eyes.

At 5 minutes she thought she felt an itch in her toe.

At 10 minutes she felt a bought of nausea that quickly passed.

At 15 minutes she was almost wishing she would open her eyes and see that she became a bookworm.

There was a knock on her door and she quickly tried to neutralize her face. This was an extreme disappointment for Hermione, she was not used to failing and it was eating her up inside. _Ugh, ok I just have to remain stoic until I get home tonight and then I can bawl my eyes out all I want. Thank Merlin I have some pepper up hot chocolate mix for when I get home._

Ralph entered and was visibly surprised that Hermione was still, well, human. “No luck boss? Well you will get them next time!”

Hermione weakly smiled at him and got up with a sigh. She walked over to Ralph to thank him for the condolences when suddenly she felt a tightening in her stomach. Ralph eyes went wide as Hermione disappeared and was replaced by a small brown rodent.

“BLOODY HELL, you’re a squirrel!”

Hermione now had to crane her neck to see Ralph and started chattering away. _What was this? Some sort of cosmic joke? I get that I have bushy hair but I didn’t know animagus transformations would be so literal._

Ralph handed her a mirror and she looked exactly as she imagined. The fur was the same colour as her hair and the tail was ridiculously bushy.

“I am going to get the camera!” Ralph ran out of the office and Hermione felt the same tightening and was returned to her normal self.

“Oh shoot, sorry boss I really wanted to commemorate your first time!” Hermione was grateful that this wouldn’t have to be immortalized on film.

“It’s fine Ralph, let’s just pack up for a night, I am exhausted from this ordeal and should be getting home.” Frustrated, Hermione packed up her things and flooed home.

_____________________________________________________

“Seriously, what do I have in common with a squirrel?!” Hermione grumbled as she sat on her couch. The problem with living alone was talking to yourself became normal and today the only person she could vent to was herself. Her huffing and puffing was interrupted by the floo alarm alerting her that Harry was visiting. She accepted the visitor with her wand and Harry stepped out of the fireplace.

It was impossible not to smile at Harry when he visited. This form of transportation didn’t suit him in the slightest and he always came in with a face full of soot and his already unmanageable hair was in even more disarray than usual. She had been seeing a bit more of Harry these days since he often got kicked out of the house by his pregnant wife. Ginny had a wide range of mood swings before and now that she was 7 months pregnant it was out of control. After a couple of hours though he would always get an owl asking him to return home, usually with some food in hand. You would think this pattern would upset Harry but all he could talk about was his excitement to have a kid and how much he loved Ginny. If Hermione wasn’t best friends with both of them she would have probably thought their lovey dovey actions were nauseating. _I bet that’s how Malfoy would feel_. Hermione was surprised with the thought, _ugh why am I thinking of him outside of work yet again?_ and with that she mentally pictured her moving the image of Malfoy back into the work box of her mind and closed the lid.

Harry smiled and said, “So, what’s the verdict? Was it an owl, since you’re so wise?”

Hermione frowned, “Is that what you bet Malfoy? Gosh I wager if that were true with my luck I would be put to work delivering letters whenever I transformed. No it’s actually….” She couldn’t bear to finish the sentence knowing Harry would burst out laughing when he heard.

“Common Mione, spill.”

“…It’s….it’s a squirrel.”

Just as predicted, Harry burst out laughing, “You transformed into a squirrel?! Maybe it’s alluding to how excited you get in libraries!”

Hermione shook her head as Harry moved to sit down next to her. When he got closer to her Hermione’s eyes grew wide as she felt a familiar tightening. To say this transformation was graceful would be a blatant lie, because instead of a squirrel, there was a doe sprawled half on the couch and half on the floor.

Harry stared at the animal and she stared back looking, quite literally, like a deer caught in headlights. “Hermione, didn’t you say you were a squirrel?” The doe answered back with a nod and Harry just stayed silent for a couple of moments.

“Uhh…..I’m going to go get Ginny.” Harry walked away from the couch and before he reached the fireplace he heard a “Wait!”

He turned and saw human Hermione running towards him. “I’m back to normal! I swear, I saw that I was a squirrel with my own two eyes in my office. How can I possibly be switching animals?”

“I don’t know!” Replied Harry, “You’re the brains of this operation, you’re the one that’s supposed to have the answers. Didn’t your handbook tell you anything about this?”

“No Harry, my handbook did not prepare me for my spirit animal being indecisive! What am I supposed to do, coax the right creature out with a chocolate frog?!”

“On the bright side, at least a doe is better than a squirrel. It’s funny, I always thought if I were an animagus I would follow after my father and be a stag, and you were the female equivalent!”

Hermione rolled her eyes and growled in frustration, “Harry this is not the time for inane trivia we have to figure…..” She had stopped talking mid-sentence and was formulated a terrifying idea in her mind.

“Harry…if I were to say that it turns out that Ralph’s animagus is a squirrel would you be surprised?”

“No, of course not, that lad seems like he is hopped on sugar 24 hours a day…..wait oh no, was he there when you transformed into one?!” Harry replied joining her wavelength.

“I think I’m transforming into the would-be animagus’ of anyone who comes close! Ok Harry let’s try this again, walk towards me.” Harry complied but nothing happened even when he put an arm on her shoulder.

“Ok well maybe it only works once? Was there anything you did out of the ordinary with the potion?”

“No, of course not, you know me I read the instructions 5 times before preparing it with an herbal tea that Ron….” Hermione’s eyes grew wide as she thought of the ridiculous mystery tea. How could she be so foolish?

She ran over to her bag and tore through the contents looking for the box. As she pulled it out she turned over package and a sinking feeling of dread took over when she saw the logo: Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Under the gold logo displayed the words: You gotta kiss a few frogs! Not wanting to continue reading but knowing she had to, she stated the product description out loud,

“This new product from Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes is guaranteed to please! This product will have you kissing the lucky lads or lassies around you until you find one you are most compatible with! How will you know who that special someone is? Well don’t you worry, the fireworks going off in your head will be a sure sign!”

Harry and Hermione stared at each other and with an icy tone she said “I am going to murder Ron, sharpen his bones and then use them to murder George.” She turned to the fireplace and disappeared with Harry running after her.

_____________________________________________________

“Hermione you have to calm down!” Pleaded Harry, “Nothing good is going to come from strangling anyone!”

It was just Hermione’s luck that both brothers were at the shop. Ron tended to help out when he could and actually changed to a part-time auror to help out George. However this selflessness would not protect him from the wrath of a small Gryffindor with bushy hair, even if it was considerably less bushy now.

She kicked the office door open in her fury and both Ron and George looked up at her in alarm. “YOU TWO ARE DEADMEAT!”

Harry came running in after her still trying to calm her down to no avail. The red haired boys looked at each other for a moment and stood up about to walk towards her. “DO NOT move a muscle you two! Care to explain how I came into possession of this ridiculous product?!” She angrily threw the tea across the room, throwing it quite too far in her anger but Ron retrieved it and stared at it in recognition.

“Isn’t this the tea I gave you?” Ron asked as he was inspecting the product. “I got it from George and even did a protection spell to ensure it was safe!” He turned over the box and gasped, “I swear this writing wasn’t on it when I gave it to you!” Her turned to George and with a disapproving look asked him what he did.

“Why did you give it to her you duffus? I wanted to test the product on you to make sure it was going to have the desired effect, I figured you would just kiss Luna back at your flat and it would all be resolved.” He turned to Hermione, “I swear this was never meant for you….but why waste a good opportunity? How’s it working?”

This was apparently the wrong question to ask as suddenly all of her fury was directed to only George. “Well I would say not too great since I mixed it with Animagus Revealo and now I seem to turn into animals around people!”

“Ah…” George’s face seemed immobilized as he processed this information. “Ok so, what do you mean exactly? Do you turn into specific animals? How close do people have to get? How do you turn back?” George’s eyes gleamed with the excitement usually reserved for a child on Christmas day.

“This is not one of your experiments George Weasley!” yelled Hermione.

“Wait Hermione, he’s right…in a sense. We really do need to test this out and figure out exactly what it means for you.” Harry stated calmly. He started to explain everything that had happened while Hermione relentlessly glared at the Weasley brothers.

George seemed to greedily lap up this information nodding throughout the explanation. “Ok so I suspect it will only happen when in the vicinity of males since that is who you are sexually attracted to…” His sentence drifted off like a question and Hermione grimaced and nodded in agreement. “But we should test that to make sure. We should also see just how close someone has to be for you to change.”

Hermione was slowly calming down and though she detested the excited tone in which he stated his hypotheses she knew they were fairly logical. “Ok I agree, now that we’re in this we can only work to get out of it. I think the biggest question is how do I end it? Is there an antidote? Or will I just have to keep changing into animals until I change into one that suits me?”

“I’m not sure, or it may work that you keep changing until you find someone compatible with you, in the romantic sense, and you can take on his animagus…” George replied uncertain. “It’s a new product so I don’t have a reversal potion yet…”

“Merlin, why did it have to be tea George” Hermione asked exasperated.

George smiled sheepishly, “Well we never had a tea product, I actually thought it was a bit of genius myself.”

“This is not the time to revel in how impressive your magic was!” replied Hermione.

“So you think it was impressive?” George wore a proud smirk.

Hermione glared and stared to reply when Harry cut her off, “Ok this is not useful, Hermione I think you should go see Malfoy.”

“What? Harry if that’s who you think my most suited match is then I’m worried you suffered some sort of head trauma.”

Harry looked at her as if she just ate a crumple-horned snorkack, “No of course not, he is a senior member of the Ministry’s Brewing division and he might be able to make an antidote.”

“Right, of course…Harry you’re right” Hermione replied embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed pink and she cursed herself for drawing to such a conclusion.

“But first Ron, you need to walk towards Hermione and we can figure out exactly what this animagus radius is.” Instructed Harry.

Ron nodded and took slow steps towards her. When he was within 3 meters of her she changed into an animal that would give George insult ammunition for years to come. Instead of Hermione, a brown haired capuchin stood in her place.

“Oh come on!” yelled Ron, “A monkey?!?!”

Harry focused on controlling his laughter as he instructed Ron to slowly back away. It seemed when he was more than 3 meters away Hermione changed back into her usual self.

“Ok so apparently the magic number is 3 meters” Harry told Hermione as she nodded.

George still seemed to be chuckling and was receiving quite the glare from Ron. “Sorry for laughing bro, didn’t know you would go bananas.”

Harry stifled a laugh and said “Ya, he was just being Curious, George.”

Hermione couldn’t even contain her laughter at that and managed to spout out, “Hey calm down both of you! No more monkey business!”

The three collapsed on the floor laughing while a very unhappy Ron looked on. _Well,_ thought Hermione, _at least I seem to be even with Ron._

_____________________________________________________

Hermione relished the feeling of being snuggled in her bed, and even though she was more exhausted than usual, she knew this would be a restless night. She sighed, she would need to see Malfoy tomorrow, as much as she loathed to admit it, he was a talented Master Brewer, she could never tell him that to his face though, his ego would probably explode.

She also needed to set up a meeting with Eddie. If there was one small silver lining in all of this it was that she would get to know whether breaking up with him was the right decision. If he turned out to be that “special someone” she could fight to get him back, and if not, well she might have some peace of mind. Really at this point in time he was her best bet for ending this thing. Eddie had asked her out at a bookstore, Hermione couldn’t have written a better meet cute for herself if she tried. He had been headboy at Hogwarts when she had been in 3rd year and was in Ravenclaw. He worked as an unspeakable in the ministry and was extremely intelligent. On paper he was the perfect companion for her, and their year of dating had been so comfortable. _Comfortable is not supposed to be an insult,_ she told herself, _the whole relationship had been just fine._ The words lackluster lover repeated in her head and she silently hoped for Malfoy to have a rotten sleep. She couldn’t deny the truth of the words though, her heart had told her repetitively that something had been missing from the relationship. It had lasted a year because he always seemed to succeed when she would make pro or cons lists and she liked having a piece of calm in her hectic life. _Maybe it was too much calm, it was like he was never passionate about anything, including me, Merlin I thought unspeakables were supposed to be interesting._ Still there was no harm in setting up a meeting. Hermione’s brain still seemed to be going a mile a minute but somehow exhaustion won over and she found herself slipping into a dreamless sleep.

_____________________________________________________

A fuming Hermione stormed into her office and Ralph let out a small yelp when he saw the mood she was in. On her way to work she had been turned into a cat, a turtle and ridiculously, a penguin. She just had to get her coffee this morning didn’t she? The poor barista had looked terrified when he had to hand a macchiato to a reptile. Even for wizarding England this seemed like too much and in all the hubbub she had been transformed twice after that before she snagged her coffee and apparated out. There had to be a better way to keep people out of her personal 3 meter bubble. She opened one of the books in her office that studied deterring muggles from entering wizarding areas and found an appropriate spell. It probably wouldn’t be safe for using in the general public, but it would be perfect for her office. She activated a 3.5 meter barrier around her that when someone got too close they would be forcibly nudged back. Happy with her results she decided to test them on Ralph and asked him to come into her office slowly. At about 5 paces into the room he was suddenly thrown into the wall behind him and Hermione immediately lifted the spell and rushed to his side.

“Oh Ralph I am so so sorry! I was trying out a new spell to keep people 3 meters away and I should not have used you as the ginea pig!”

Ralph shook his head but seemed ok physically, “It’s ok Boss, no harm done but why are we so into solitude today?”

Hermione explained the situation to Ralph who seemed to take an odd sense of pride in finding out his spirit animal was a squirrel and told her he would help her in any way possible. He heard her mumble something about murdering George for her but he ignored the violent grumble. He offered to try the spell again after she did some alterations and low and behold he was given a push, but not hard enough that he fell.

“Ralph you probably deserve a raise after all this. Could you also send a memo to Malfoy asking him to come see me as soon as he can today?”

“Draco Malfoy boss?”

“Yes, of course” Hermione answered with a slightly confused look as Ralph left the office with a nod. He knew that he was only Malfoy working at the ministry. After the war Lucius had been sent to Azkaban for life and had unfortunately died 5 years ago. His wife, Narcissa had been exhumed from all previous indiscretions for saving Harry’s life, and both Harry’s and Hermione’s statements had allowed Draco to be tried as a minor and released with a sizable fine. It was hard to figure out what Draco thought about all this. From previous comments she had inferred that Draco didn’t think his farther could ever be fully reformed, but his mother still missed him and that seemed to cause him a decent amount of distress. Looking at how Draco had matured she wondered how much of what he said at school was his own thoughts or repeating what he heard at home. _Is that much amount of reform possible? He’s still an arrogant git, but he’s a respectful arrogant git._

_Well at least one part of the day will be enjoyable._ She scowled at her thought but wondered if it was really so bad to look forward to his visits? Their conversations were anything but boring and he was pretty nice to look at.

Before her thoughts could go anymore south there was an urgent knock at the door and Malfoy stepped into the office. He looked honest to Merlin concerned and it was the first time Hermione had seen an expression like that mar his face. “What happened? Was something wrong with the potion? Are you ok?” Draco had never received a memo like that from Hermione and had dropped his other work and ran up the 13 floors as fast as possible rather than trusting the unreliable lifts. Why would you contact a Master Brewer the day after you took a potion if everything was fine? He tried to walk towards her and felt himself being pushed back, muttering Bloody Hell he looked up at the witch expectantly.

“Malfoy, it’s ok, I’m ok” Hermione wasn’t exactly sure how to answer but her usual mocking of him was probably not the right thing to do if he looked so concerned.

Hermione then started to tell the entirety of the shenanigans that have occurred and Draco listened in contemplative silence. After she was done explaining he remained stoic for a couple moments before his will broke and a smirk crept onto his face. “So Ron won’t be a weasel, that’s quite a monkey off his back! Also I would pay to see you as a penguin!” He was laughing whole heartedly now.

Hermione couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her lips but she tried to control herself and replied “I am glad that my suffering has given you such humour but I didn’t call you into my office to give you a laugh, I need an antidote”

“Ah yes, you had to call your favourite Potions Master, finally going to admit that my skills are unparalleled in my department and the only reason I am not head is because I’m not part of the golden trio?”

“Humm maybe I will just call your boss and ask him why you stopped doing your job and are refusing to help a war hero?”

He scowled at the response, “Bloody Gryffindors, Ok give me the tea and I will see what I can find out” She threw him the box of tea and it flew past him and out of the office. “You know this would be a lot easier if you just let me get closer to you, you have a terrible arm.”

She smirked at him and said, “I would rather not turn into a ferret today thank you very much, good day Malfoy.” She smiled and stood up walking towards the door. With her new barrier he was pushed out of the office and she closed the door.

_____________________________________________________

Draco went to his lab grimacing at the change of temperature. _Why do potion rooms always have to be in basements? The only thing lower than this is the creepy department of mysteries._ Whenever he thought of unspeakables he would recall the very few interactions he had with Granger’s ex. _I always thought those people were supposed to be interesting._ Eddie the ever-boring was anything but. In the last 5 years he had gotten to know the muggleborn witch too well for his comfort and had a pretty clear idea on how she would try to end this unfortunate accident; make up a stupid reason for seeing the prat and then hope she turned into an intelligent enough animal and they would live happily ever after. She had some serious near-sightedness if she thought she could spend the rest of her life with that schlub. He knew he cared far too much about who she dated but really he just liked to prove her wrong. _You can always find an excuse can’t you?_ He sighed as the thought popped into his head. He knew he should come up with an antidote before she went along with her harebrained plans but there was a small antagonistic part of him that wanted to get close to her just to see how compatible their animagus would be. _Small part? Are you sure it’s not your new greatest goal?_ He cursed his betraying mind and decided with the right amount of will power you can talk yourself out of anything. So with steely resolve Draco went to work on the new puzzle.

_____________________________________________________

The next couple of days passed by relatively peacefully for Hermione. Sure she had a few mishaps here or there, but who doesn’t want to try out being a flamingo and a sloth once in their lives? She had been pretty socially sequestered but at least Ginny got to visit her and they proved without a doubt that it was only the male population that was a danger to her human form.

The calm had been forcibly rescinded this morning when she was suddenly visited by 6 men upon entering her office. She didn’t even have enough time to set her boundaries as she was changing almost constantly for a whirlwind 15 minutes. All they had done was walk in, watch her transform in an unimpressed manner and then look upon the final animal with interest before muttering a thanks and walking away. She recognized them as employees from the Auror Department and had a sneaking suspicion of why this had occurred. She decided Ron deserved a censure memo, which really was a howler for the ministry, for telling his coworkers about her situation and aiding them in finding out their animagus. With a grumble and a yawn she got back to work.

Later than morning she looked upon her calendar with a feeling of dread. It was Friday and she cursed her unlucky stars at the date. Tonight was the annual “we defeated Voldemort let’s drink and eat way too much” ball, ok it was actually called the Perseverance Gala but it had gotten pretty old by now. They always made a show of getting the “golden trio” up on stage and having them say a few words. It was a waste of money and self-indulgent in her opinion but she understood its purpose for moral.

If it had been a normal year she wouldn’t be looking forward to it, but this year she was dreading it with every fiber of her being. _How can I spend a whole night in a room full of people without turning into a petting zoo?_ The only silver lining came from the opportunity to speak to Eddie. She knew he would be required to attend and she could finally try out her only hope out of this curse. After brainstorming a solution for a solid hour, all she came up with was just showing up for the speech, grabbing Eddie, testing out her theory, then escaping as quickly as she could. _Did I get worse at planning? I swear I was better at coming up with ideas when I was a Hogwart’s teenager!_ With a sigh she decided she wouldn’t get much done at work today and told Ralph she was taking a half day. This day had been incredibly tiring and she felt drained. A bath and a book at home would be exactly what the healer ordered.

_____________________________________________________

Draco Malfoy did not like to toot his own horn, ok he did, in every sense of the words, but he was a genius. 3 days and he worked out an antidote to something people didn’t even know existed. _If only everyone was as talented as me, how the world would progress_. With a huge smile he went up to show his accomplishment to the dual department head. He started to imagine what her gratification would look like and came up with her taking the potion and then snogging the crap out of him. He growled at his thoughts which he had let run away from him for the past couple of days. When you’re making a potion all day for one single person, it doesn’t offer much chance of distraction. He couldn’t get the bloody witch out of his head. _You know acceptance is the first step._ He pushed down the voices that kept popping up and refused this notion. _She’s a Gryffindor for Merlin’s sake._ She was also muggleborn, but he knew that had stopped mattering to him years ago. Surviving a war and working with hundreds of muggles does that to you. _It’s ok to feel physically attracted to a Gryffindor,_ he decided with finality. His imagination could do anything it wanted to, maybe he would even shag her and get it out of his system but hopefully it didn’t come to that. All he knew right now was he was looking forward to gloating in front of her and for the conversation following that would surely rile her up.

He arrived at the office and nodded to Ralph who wasn’t looking at him at all and he complimented himself on his light tread. Ralph heard the office door open and saw Draco standing there with a frown. “She left early today, she was bombarded and transformed 6 times this morning, she was muttering something about hermiting.”

Draco smirked, that witch mumbled more than she talked, hopefully she hadn’t turned into a literal hermit “Ok I can set up an appointment to see her tomorrow morning.”

Ralph looked at him unsure if he joking or not, “Uhh sir it’s Saturday tomorrow, she won’t be in. You can give it to her tonight though?”

“What are you going on about...” Draco then realized that he had been so engrossed in his work for the last couple of days he thought it was Thursday. That also meant that tonight was the gala. _Bloody hell, I really was focused on this wasn’t I?_

“Right, of course, my apologies Ralph, have a good night” Draco left briskly so Ralph wouldn’t have more ammunition to think he was insane. He loathed the Perseverance Gala, it was a no win situation for a reformed Death Eater. If he went, people would murmur that he was boasting about how “untouchable” the Malfoy’s were, but if he didn’t attend they would say it’s because he was secretly angry that Voldemort wasn’t ruler of the world. It was all so ridiculous. All it did was make him both regret his past mistakes and think about his father. Lucius had been a delusional and cruel man but he did have brief, very brief moments where he had put his family as first priority, and that seemed to be most of what his Mother remembered. Draco shuddered when he thought about what he could have become. After Dumbledore’s death things had changed for him, and the war had been just about surviving and sparing the most lives possible. _Well at least I get to see Granger in a dress._ With that one silver lining in mind he decided he too would call it a day.

_____________________________________________________

_Where in the bloody hell is she?_ Draco thought, not for the first time. He was scanning the room for the umpteenth time trying to catch sight of Granger. The lavishly decorated hall was a bit distracting and the hundreds of wizards in attendance didn’t help. He knew she would have to go on stage soon so she had to be around here somewhere. Draco had been keeping scarhead in his peripheral vision knowing the witch would find him at some point. _Well I guess with her new “illness” she probably is sticking closer to the periphery._ With that sane thought in his mind Draco went wandering the secluded corridors of the event hall.

_There she is!_ Apparently he could recognize her back even when her unruly hair was coifed and tied up securely. _I really don’t need any more hints universe, I get it, I am interested in her we’ll say._ Draco was about to call out to her when a second voice made him stop in his tracks.

_____________________________________________________

“You know Hermione, I have done a lot of constructive projects since our break up. All this free time has enabled me to work on multiple classified unspeakable theories, wood wands are really quite fascinating, the addition of wormwood to oak has a completely different reaction that you would think for a non-magical wood, and when you add in the cutting method it gets even more complicated…”

Hermione had cornered Eddie in a hallway as a last-ditch effort to appease her curse and she was really starting to regret it. She was trying to pay attention to this ridiculous lecture on wand woods but all she could do was realize why she had broken up with Eddie in the first place. _A time room, the veil, and this is what he researches, this might be the least mysterious topic ever._ This man was dull, and had quite the ego, _not even of the charming variety, like Malfoy._ Hermione sighed. There was no way that Eddie was truly compatible with her, and at this point she was too worried she would fall asleep during the conversation to let it continue.

“…and hopefully that project will be completed soon.” It sounded like Eddie was finally wrapping up so she started to pay attention. “Anyway Hermione, was there something you needed to ask me?”.

As she was about to let him know, that no, she definitely didn’t have anything to say, she heard a “Granger!” from behind her. 

Malfoy was frozen. For someone so composed he was unaccustomed to having moments where passion and spontaneity won out. He had a brief instant where his mouth had disconnected to his mind and he had called out to Hermione before he even realized. _In my defence I really didn’t want to witness a ridiculous confession come out of her mouth._

As his brain went on overdrive trying to come up with a follow-up sentence, multiple things happened at once. Hermione had turned around and was looking at him expectantly, and with what he could have sworn was relief. Eddie had bid Hermione a goodbye and went to go back to the ball. Suddenly he was in her precious radius and he continued to walk away without looking back. If he had, what a sight he would have seen. There standing in the middle of the hall was a Highland Cow.

Hermione had felt a wave of relief wash over her when she first spotted a less composed but immaculately dressed Draco. But that sight quickly turned into a face of shock and the last thing Hermione saw before she blacked out was the protruding eyes of Draco.

_____________________________________________________

As Eddie walked away the unconsciousness heifer transformed back into Hermione. Draco had one moment of thinking that the woman looked so much smaller when she wasn’t talking before he leapt into action. He started to do some basic diagnostic spells and found that she was definitely alive and her vital signs were stable. At that point he sent a quick patronus to a friend he knew could help and picked up Hermione to bring her into one of the side boardrooms. He couldn’t resists sneaking an appreciative glance at the cleavage her dress provided. He laid her down on the table and started shifted around the room. _Where the hell was that oaf._

“This better be good Draco, I had to leave a tasty morsel at the bar, and I’m not talking about an appetizer.” Blaise walked in with a wink that stopped short when he saw Granger laying on the table and an extremely nervous Draco beside her. His entire demeaner changed and he went into healer mode, though first he looked at Draco and stated “What did you to do her???”

As Blaise was preforming diagnostic spells that put his earlier ones to shame, Draco explained the events that had led them here. Once he had finished Blaise let out a sigh of relief. “She is fine mate, she just fainted due to exhaustion. Transforming 7 times in one day is unheard of for animagnus, typically 2-3 times is the maximum suggested, she just needs a good sleep and some food in the morning” Draco glared angrily at the door, as if this entire problem was rooted in Eddie and that he could feel the anger from multiple rooms over.

“Ok thanks mate. Glad I have a healer on call.”

“For the last time Draco, I am not at your beck and call. At least this one was more serious than the paper cut you had last month.”

“It was on my face Blaise, MY FACE. Anyway, thanks again.” Draco looked down at the witch and leaned over to pick her up, unable to hide the small smile that crept on his face.

“You got it bad don’t you?” Draco looked up at Blaise, a denial on the tip of his tongue, but instead, admitted “Ya….I do.”

“Well, good luck with that one, she is quite the handful.” Draco glared at his word play and with a gruff goodbye made his way to the floo site.

_Bloody hell, I don’t have access to her apartment, do I?_ Draco sighed and did what was the most reasonable second option, he just hoped she didn’t freak out too much.

_____________________________________________________

Hermione opened her eyes feeling sluggish and disoriented. The first thing she noticed was that her bed felt considerably more comfortable this morning, the second thing she noticed was that silk sheets were heavenly soft. That was when Hermione’s eyes burst open and she reached for her wand, placed on an unfamiliar nightstand but oddly in the exact location she typically put it when she slept. She was in a well decorated room, and she couldn’t help but noticed there was a lot of green in it. She took a moment to ensure she had all of her clothing on, and after breathing a sigh of relief she slipped out of bed.

When her feet hit the floor she felt the familiar trigger of magic and reflectively put up a shield around herself. A paper letter flew up from a far desk and started to talk in a voice she was awfully familiar with.

“Granger, don’t freak out…” the voice of Draco Malfoy declared. She rolled her eyes, both annoyed and relieved that he started so bluntly. “You transformed too many times yesterday and passed out. I took you back to my place and even though I am sure it would have been your dream to wake up in my arms…” Hermione immediately scoffed at that even as she couldn’t stop the blush that made its way up her face. “I have, like the gentleman I am, left you the bed and slept on the couch. There are towels and amenities in the washroom if you want a shower, as well as a change of clothing. Or if you want to escape I have modified my wards to allow you to apparate out.” Hermione was stunned, she always knew Draco had hidden a considerate side to himself, deep, deep deep down. But she thought it would only come out in life threatening instances, or when there was clear personal gain. “However, if you do choose to leave know that you will never get your hands on your precious antidote to your furry little problem.” _There, yup there it is, there is the Draco I know and love._ She shook her head grinning and went into the washroom.

_____________________________________________________

Draco knew the moment his spell had gone off. _Noon….about time._ He knew he couldn’t get frustrated with someone who was sleeping off “exhaustion”, but hey, he would try. When she finally exited the room he sucked in his breath. Her hair was wet, falling off one shoulder, and she was wearing his clothes, which were adorably too big on her and desperately _hot_. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

Hermione excited the room and the scene before he just felt _right._ Draco was sitting at the table, the Daily Prophet open in front of him and a coffee mug by his side. He looked so comfortable and seeing him in this state almost seemed intimate. She noticed a coffee mug sitting at the other side of the table suspiciously out of her 3 meter range and she moved towards it. It had a stasis charm on it and was made just how she liked it. _You cannot!! I will not let myself fall for him, there are too many reasons not to._ Granted she was wondering if any of those reasons were her own, or if at this point they were just other’s. That’s when she noticed his stare. He was looking at her like he would rather liked to have joined her in the shower and her feeling switched immediately from comfortable to feeling a little too hot.

Draco noticed her deep blush and shook himself out of his reverie. “So, you really thought he was the one?”. Draco inwardly winced, he hadn’t meant to start with such a heavy topic, it’s like all of his charm had suddenly disappeared.

Hermione couldn’t hold in the laugh. Once she had controlled herself she stated “No, after hearing the 6th reason why wormwood works well in wands I realized I was a fool for thinking that could ever work. The transformation was actually quite the accident, and I am very relieved to be in back in my own body.”

“And what a body it is.” Draco finished with a wink.

Hermione ignored it with only a glare and asked “What did I turn into anyway?”  
  
Draco couldn’t stop the full blown smile that swept his face. “Oh! This might be udderly devastating.”

“Oh no….bloody hell…I was a cow wasn’t I?” Hermione didn’t think it was possible but Draco’s smile grew even wider. Her face was in her hands as she continued “Well, thank you anyway for looking after me. Granted I don’t know why you didn’t just ask Harry, Ginny or Ron to help out.”

At that Draco did indeed feel stupid, that would have been such an easy solution. He schooled his features and covered up his embarrassment. “And leave you without the honour of my company, never. Anyway, Hermione, you really shouldn’t be criticizing anything your saviour does.”

“My saviour?”

“Yes, he who holds the antidote, the boy who brewed for 3 days solid.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it”.

With that Draco took the potion from his pocked and threw it at the witch. It landed perfectly in her hands, and yet she still fumbled with the catch. He smiled at her ruefully, selfishly wishing he could just see what she would turn into when they got close. _If only she can just see how good we could be together._

Hermione looked at the solution to all of her problems. _The only problem is, I’m not sure if that’s in my hands or right in front of me._ She uncorked the bottle and paused. At that moment everything fell into place. She didn’t have to settle, she could actually have a considerate, passionate, _and bloody fit_ partner. She just needed to show him some tangible proof to convince him. She stood up and before Draco could even respond tried to tackle him.

Draco felt himself falling before he realized what was on top of him, and when he did he couldn’t control his increase in heart rate. With a set of impressive looking teeth was a beautiful brown wolf. Then he saw the tail of the wolf start to wag and she was licking his face.

“God Granger, if I knew you wanted to lick me that badly I would have offered a more southward location.” With that the wolf stopped licking and let out a low growl. He put up his arms in surrender and got up off the floor. Draco couldn’t help but see how good of a fit a wolf would be for Hermione. Fiercely loyal to her pack, but able to take on any threat easily. Hermione had jumped off him and was looking around the room curiously. Realizing that he had to test this theory he started to back up. Hermione seemed to pick up what he was trying to do and moved back as well. They were across the room, easily over 10 meters apart, and they realized that this was it, this was different. Draco smiled and he could see the happiness in the wolf’s eyes.

Hermione, now realizing she didn’t want to be a wolf forever went through the maneuvers she knew backwards and forwards to reverse the transition. She stood up, fully human and couldn’t stop her feet from running towards Draco. He caught her in his hands and started to kiss her without care. “I knew it was you, it was always going to be you” she said.

Draco held her in his arms and smirked, “Always huh? That’s why you first tried squirrely mcsquirrelface, pothead, the weasel and charm of a mountain troll all before me?”

Hermione grimaced, “Ok, you know that is not accurate account of the events, just stop ruining the moment and kiss me”

Draco couldn’t help the real smile that broke out on his face “Gladly.”


End file.
